#metoo

I hesitate to post this because I don’t want, in any way, to minimize the level of mistreatment and abuse women face from men in our society. Sadly, it’s just the norm. And it needs to change.

I don't want to minimize the #metoo movement by posting this type of a reply. Just like #alllives matter and #bluelivesmatter minimizes #blacklivesmatter, so do men, in general, I feel, posting with the #metoo tag minimizes what women experience. At its most basic level, I still have this concern. THAT IS NOT THE INTENT OF THIS POST, I ASSURE YOU.

HOWEVER – I have had several younger LGTBQ individuals message me about the abuse they have experienced and how they wish they were safe to express what they had experienced. They know my story and can’t understand why I am silent. I’ve also heard from several friends of mine who know my story asking why I’m not speaking up.

*So, for those who need to hear this from a man – I share.
*For those who don’t want to hear it, or think it minimizes the women’s movement, kindly ignore it.

I’m posting for those who need to hear it:

#metoo

• At the age of 5, I can vividly remember being molested by a friend of my dad’s in the bathroom of a gas station. He knew. That’s how he paid for the gas.

• At the age of 12, my “adoptive dad” would watch me shower to make sure I was “clean” and then he would insist on washing my private area himself, just to be sure. 

• Between 12 and 15, two foster “dads” thought since they were letting me live there, I should be able to take care of whatever needs they had. When I reported this, I was told I was making it up and was moved again.

• In High School, a staff person touched me inappropriately and then told me that I shouldn’t say anything because no one would believe a foster child anyway. 

• In High School, I “tried” – not by choice – conversion therapy. We were “encouraged”, by the “therapists” to have sex with adult women to convert us. 

• In College, I had a consensual same-sex experience, but afterward, was approached by an RA who told me that if I didn’t take care of his needs to, he would report me. I had nowhere to go home if I was kicked out, and it was a fundamental Bible college.

No wonder I hated myself so long for my sexuality. No longer – I am proud of who I am. In every way. But that’s a different story.

This is for those men who need to hear they aren’t alone and it wasn’t their fault. This isn’t about me and my experiences personally. Don’t need feedback on my experiences.

I JUST WANT OTHER MEN WHO HAVE BEEN ABUSED TO KNOW THEY AREN’T ALONE. AND THERE IS HOPE.

I post this in solidarity with all victims of abuse.
#metoo

LOVE is the Answer…Doesn’t matter the Question.