#Imwithher - OR - Why I can no longer support the GOP
Anyone who follows me on Facebook or Twitter knows that I have been very outspoken on my support of HRC and the Democratic party this election cycle. Ashamedly. I have to admit that this is the first election I have really paid any attention. Although I have voted in many, I had not put much thought into my vote.
As recently as May of this year, I would have said that I was going to vote Republican. Always have. Part of my religious upbringing I guess. Even though I had “come out” as a gay man and was currently in the process of redefining for myself what “being a Christian” meant in terms of that (a work still in progress), I was holding onto much of my beliefs and convictions still.
That all changed on June 12, 2016 when Omar Mateen killed 49 people and wounded 53 others in an attack inside Pulse, a gay nightclub in Orlando, Florida. Watching as the horror unfolded, I felt for the first time a connection to “my community.” For the first time, I felt proud to be a gay man. I felt part of something bigger than myself. (Prior to this I really didn’t understand the whole pride thing. To me to celebrate my sexuality seemed almost trivial, or at worse even condescending. My thinking on that has evolved completely, but that’s a blog post for another time.)
That day in June, I found myself sitting hour after hour watching as more details emerged about the killer and the victims. I found myself crying as the weight of just what it meant to be gay could mean. I thought about Matthew Shephard, Billy Gaither, Danny Overstreet, and Mark Carson, just a few of the names I remembered from my studies of gay history who were killed because of their sexuality. Sadly, there are many more who died and literally thousands who have been severely beaten simply because of whom they chose to love. I thought about my fellow brothers and sisters in other countries who are put to death because of their sexuality. And I thought about Stonewall and what truly went down that day. As the names of the victims started to trickle out, I sat there and thought about them each individually, imagining what their families might be like, what their hopes or dreams were, and grieving for those they left behind. I found myself almost mesmerized by their names, saying them over and over to myself in some, perhaps, misguided attempt to find peace.
That evening I posted in an LGBT friendly Facebook group the following message: “I'm going to express this here because I have few places I can speak this openly. I'm overwhelmed with a grief I cannot comprehend from the massacre in Orlando. I'm a grown ass man, and the depth of which this is touching my soul is beyond that which 9/11 affected me personally. And now, I am preparing to process with my bisexual 14-year-old daughter how 100+ people were murdered or injured for being just like her/us.”
As far as my conversion to the Democratic party is concerned, it wasn’t the loss of life itself that was the driving factor (as horrid as it was.) It was our politician's responses that ultimately led to that conversion. I began to see a pattern that republican after republican after republican made reference to the “attack in Orlando” or “the victims and their families,“ or made reference to “Islamic radicalization”, but NOT ONCE DID I SEE A REPUBLICAN acknowledge what these victims had in common. Not one republican mentioned that this was at a gay night club. Or that these individuals were targeted because they were gay or transgendered or an ally of the community. In fact, most of the republicans that responded that day used it as an attempt to further their agenda related to immigration or the war on terror. If it had crossed my mind, I would have brought the word “deplorables” onto the debate scene, much sooner than the candidates did. Because that is what this response from the republican party was, deplorable in every way.
In contrast, the Democrat response repeatedly mentioned the LGBT community and their support for them.
And for the first time since admitting to myself that I was gay - and wrestling through what that meant to get to the point where I truly loved myself and saw myself as a valuable member of society - I thought to myself, “wait just one fuc***ng minute, these are MY PEOPLE, they have value, they have worth, and even in their death, you refuse to acknowledge who they are at their core”. Never before that day had the words “my people” or my belonging to the LGBTQ community been a part of who I was. That night, it became central to my identity.
I then took note of Donald Trump’s response in particular. I considered Donald’s appalling initial statement on the attack, wherein he asserts, that it was a work of a radical Islamist and then goes on to blame the attack on Obama’s foreign policy. Beyond that, within hours of the tragedy, he used it to support his desire to shut down all Muslim entry to the United States. I felt anger at the use of this tragedy perpetrated against my community simply because of their sexuality, to perpetuate one's political stance. But I also felt anger specifically related to his attack on and desire to discriminate against another minority group, simply because of the actions of a few. (This was the seed that has fueled my involvement in social justice activities and the move towards that becoming a full-time calling for me, but that too is a different blog post.)
At this point, I became convinced that I needed to commit to remaining a Republican or consider other alternatives. And so, I took the time to study the Republican Party's official platform. In this brief discussion of a very complicated issue, please note two things of importance: 1.) This is not an attempt to examine the entirety of the republican party platform. I am simply mentioning a few things that were very important to me in my consideration of a candidate to support. Note that there are many issues I take issue with that republicans support that I do not address here. And 2.) No attempt will be made in this writing to justify any of this from a scriptural standpoint. (That is a post for another day also.)
From the 2016 platform specifically, these jumped out at me as being of such huge importance that I could no longer remain a republican:
The republican party continues to believe that marriage should be between one man and one woman and that adoption should be limited to heterosexual individuals.
The idea that as a gay man I should be banned from marrying the man I may fall in love with is unconscionable.
The idea that I should not be able to one day adopt again simply because I am gay is barbaric at best.
The republican party continues to fight against including discrimination based on one sexual orientation or gender identity as a covered prohibited act of sexual discrimination under Title IX.
The idea that before coming out, I would have been protected from being fired because my boss demanded that I sleep with her but, as a gay man, I could be fired simply because of who I chose to sleep with is outrageous.
Other issues that led me to my eventually jumping ship include the parties past support of banning gay Boy Scout leaders, their past positions on women and gays in the military, as well as a host of issues related to social programs such as welfare as well as their positions on criminal justice issues. (again, another post another time.)
The clincher for me was Trump’s running mate Mike Pence’s position on LGBT issues. Mike is so far to the right on this topic that I could write several blogs on the ways in which he has demonstrated hate towards and the willingness to discriminate against the LGBTQ community to protect so-called “religious freedoms.” However, it is his stated position that federal money used for the treatment of HIV should be directed instead toward funding gay conversion therapy that was the nail in the coffin for me when it comes to the Republican party.
I have seen the damage that this so-called “therapy” can do to someone. I have seen lives destroyed by it. In fact, having experienced it myself, I can tell you that it is by the grace of God that I am here. The only thing that came out of my time in “gay conversion therapy” was multiple suicide attempts, one that left me unconscious for several months as a teenager.
I simply cannot support a candidate, or a party, that is so radically opposed to who I am at the core of my being.
My community deserves to be treated as equals. I have always gotten on my high-horse about “one-issue voters.” Even has a Christian fundamentalist Republican at the height of my religious zeal, I took issue with individuals who would vote for someone based simply on their position on abortion, or welfare, or, or, or……..
However, this time - I make an exception. Even if I had no other qualms with the Republican party, I would vote Democrat solely based on their support of the LGBT community (and the Republicans hatred for it.) To me - I see this as equal to voting solely on the issue of slavery, or women’s rights, or racial equality - and those would be issues I would be a “one-issue” voter on any day.
#imwithher
LOVE is the Answer…Doesn’t matter the Question.
